three weeks

So it's been almost three weeks since Eric was born and I've been wanting and wanting to write. We know we probably won't have any more children, and somehow this makes me even more aware of the importance of every moment of Eric's babyhood. I've been trying and trying to remember the first few weeks of Thomas's life but the memories are so wrapped up with who he is now that I can no longer trust them to be what they were in the moment. People want to know if Thomas and Eric are alike - they certainly look alike (though I think Eric is going to have brown eyes) - but the truth is that I don't know. All I know for sure right now is Eric.

Eric was quiet & sleepy for the first few days. He seemed to sleep all the time, and he ate voraciously, especially once my milk came in (at only 2+ days). At almost 3 weeks he's still an every-two-hours kind of kid (well, more or less), though he's starting to spread out his night feeds a little bit.

I think Eric slept for the first 5 days. I remember Thomas being a very alert baby, so I was starting to wonder what was going on. Then, poof, Eric started to look around. He examines everything with great attention. He pulls his tiny eyebrows together, furrowing his brow as if he's a 60-year-old curmudgeon, not a newborn, as if he's trying to discern exactly what's going on. Today - he's 19 days old! - he was staring and staring at Thomas, as if to say, "Ok, I see you. Who ARE you?"

Eric is also very good with a suce. I mean, this kid took all of about 5 minutes to figure out how to keep a pacifier in his mouth. Part of me would love for him to be one of those babies who's not interested in a soother. (I say this as I contemplate how best to wean Thomas from his. He doesn't use it at all at daycare, but it is permanently in his mouth at home.) But I don't think I get a choice in this one: Eric knows that sucking is calming (it's actually an instinct!) and Thomas spends a fair amount of his time offering Eric a suce (even if Eric is asleep), so I think I may be outnumbered here.

Final observation for 3 weeks: Eric is a fantastic communicator for someone who can't control any of his limbs or his vocal cords. When he's done eating, he clamps his mouth firmly shut and nothing will pry it open again. The other day I dressed him in a cute little outfit (which he promptly spat all over) and when I went to put the matching hat on, he SCREECHED. I took the hat off and he was instantly quiet. Ok, kid, no hat.

There is, of course, more to say, but no more time (it's already long past the day I started this), so I will publish and write more later.